Monday, June 16, 2008

Friends

While returning from airport after seeing off a friend, I realized that now there is one person less who I will call when feeling bored at office, when thinking about talking to someone. I knew I will miss those long chats without head and tail, laughing without reason and seeking naughty meanings in every sentence. Another thing was just denying leaving my thoughts, while getting in my friend had tried to seek something in the eyes of his father. The look was serious as if they were drenched in pain to leave the beloved home. Possibly seeking advices from someone who has always been there to advise on what to do and what not to do. I watched the eyes of his father which took an excuse to look into the eyes of his son. He pretended to have missed the look of his son’s eyes but I can tell for sure he had seen those eyes. Though with best wishes for his son, there must have been pain to see the departing son. The fact that he will return does alleviate the pain but still parents are parents. When one needs eyes to speak, then there is always something that human vocabulary fails to cover.
Just a moment later the friend who was at the distance of a phone call was to land into the unseen world, to seek glory for his career. Of course he can still be reached with phone call but emotions fall victim before the prowess of economy. We console ourselves with remembrances and memories. When I was strolling back to office, his face and his smile refused to exit from memories. A whiff of his gestures, appearance, words, wit and wisdom took my mind to an entirely different state. I have always been sensitive to departures and more than that he had been a very good friend, a caring one and also the one who had advices when I needed it the most. Even today I tend to dial his number forgetting he cannot be accessed thus. Then I think he should have got to his place by now and he could send mail anytime. But yes as stated earlier, I have bid bye to someone who I regularly called and talked. Best of luck to my friend!!!
From his very early history men have loved to be with creatures like himself i.e. with other men. It must have provided them security and help. When they invented agriculture they needed help as farming individually was not possible. Man has always been emotional; he has always needed love and support. From very early age children prefer to be with someone like themselves. Yes, man is social by instinct.
I have had good friends from early years of my life. As I gaze the 26 years I have left behind, I remember many faces that I liked. In spite of this I have never been someone with large number of friends. I can call it a complexity in my behavior or personality though having good terms with every class mate or colleague and with amicable mannerisms I felt free with very few of them. No-one chooses friends with care or with plan, friendship just happens. When few of my friends get numerous calls everyday and have loads of people around them; by calling people not greater than 5 I finish my list of friends who I have to wish a happy new year.
I am basically a loner, someone who enjoys talking to oneself more and pushing ones thoughts to limits than chatting with others. Few days back I was contemplating on few wish lists as the curtain of rain veiled the horizon from my sight, in most of them I didn’t want to be with anyone but just with myself. Maybe I am a sadist.
I have had best of friends and we being utilitarian just lost the hold once we parted ways in life neither swearing to forget nor promising to be in touch. Had there been promises and if breaking promises are sin, we would have been the greatest sinners. Friends at schools, at colleges etc. have come to life and have gone and countable few are in touch. With few the strings of connection so gaunt that they are in the verge of breaking and with least it is as strong as it had been.
Though the need for friend is independent of age, I believe teen age is the time of life when the most important people in life are friends. The world is so beautiful in their presence; everything is so helpful and easy when they are around. They know the girl you like, they know the song you sing, and they know everything about you as if they live your life more than you live it yourself. I have been to that phase. I had just one friend who I cared like I cared no one in the whole world. I still remember the evening gloomed in tears when I bid him farewell at a local bus station. Waiting for his letters was so much a pain and I expected every day this is the day when I will have his letter which never came. I had become more of a recluse while my friend was struggling with his own problems. Memories of those lonely days still torment me. The only thing that I know now is that when he was in the country last time I couldn’t even manage to meet him, he was no important any more. We learn to live life as it comes because deep inside us we know there is not much we can do.
When college grew familiar I thought I had friends with whom I will never part ways. Time proved it is mightier than anyone and today I don’t even know where they are. But there are people from your schools and colleges you are always in contact not because they are special but because you keep meeting them. There are few friends from school and colleges I have been with me though not by choice. Yet my best of friends are from my school and college who I am proud to have.

1 comment:

kchapagain said...

The frens are there when u want them to be there.Though it is not physically possible for me to be there, but u can remember the times, the moments we've spent together, the joys we have together, the photographs which I have collected, the laughing that pleases my ear, the fren who love and cared me. And it feel like u are around me with my families and the beloved ones.

Though they are not here, they are with me all the time. I want the moring bed tea,there is noone to bring that here. I have to go to university early, there is noone to wake u up.U want to have nice nepali food cooked, but it doesnot seem possible.I love to watch kantipur tv news, avenues tv with my father and discuss about the current position of king and it is not possible now.
I am reading a book which my fren bikas had given me before I came here.The book is about little things big results(LTBR). Its inspiring book.suggests u neednot do the great things but do the little things in a great way. Thats what the theme is.

And about ur writing it is exceptionally good. I visualized my fathers face with ur article and the tears try to come to my eyes. Good article from a good fren. Say a good bye note. And these are the things which keep u alive.

Kamal