Monday, August 11, 2008

A conversation

“That is not what I meant”, it was almost a desperate plea. I have never liked this tone of him especially when he talks with me. To be true I have never heard him making pleas like these before others so may be I won’t like it even if he spoke in that way to other.
Since he came, I sat on the sofa just under the window. It was a hot day and I had wished to have a bath more than twice. I was so much busy in my work that I didn’t notice some silly guest had pulled the curtains off and the rays of sun descended directly into the sofa. Now as he took a position in the sofa, the rays of sun seemed to stab him like a dagger. I had asked him to pull the curtains but he said he was alright. Streams of sweat ran behind my ears while his nose had tiny beads of sweat and his forehead seemed to have been washed.
I have always liked to talk to him, I talk to him as if he were my alter-ego. He thought I mocked him but I never intended to do so. We have been having discussions like these from almost the same day we first met and from the first day he had the impression that I mocked him and despised him. He thought I talked illogical but he lacked logics to prove I was illogical. He thought I always defeated him and I always felt miserable that I had him more confused. Many times I believed in what he believed but still I wanted to know why he believed that way and we ran into incessant discussion. He used to get annoyed, I believe had we been some teen-agers he would have fell few teeth of mine as he was stronger than me. He thought I despised him and always looked for chances to insult him, hurt him even then he kept coming to me for no reasons. I thought it had now become some kind of game we had learnt to enjoy, he was adamant that one day he will beat me. I sounded confident to him but I knew my confidence was ostentatious, in fact I wanted to find logics through him to approve what I felt was correct but rarely he made me happy.
From the time I knew him, he was attracted to communist ideologies. That time he only believed in it but never worked to enroll others in his belief or worked like a political volunteer. These days he is charmed by the Maoists. He said he always wanted to see a class-less society, where workers the real movers ruled the country. I doubted his term ‘workers’ only involved those who does manual labor. His workers seemed to fail to cover the planners or the brains that thought manual labor can actually bring out product. He feels their target of achieving a class-less society was possible, he thought capitalism prohibits development and in ten years we can actually change the face of the country. I knew even his so called beliefs were entangled in confusions. Slowly he had started despising those who earned good fortune. He was starting to hate those who had huge buildings, who had cars, whose children studied in expensive schools. I argued man has always right to earn for himself, to enhance his life style, to earn luxury for himself and for those he cared. Now he said, the first concern of a man should be his society, those who live around him. He said we are human because we can think, we have the power to make things better so we should channel our energy and capabilities in a common cause.
I said with a smile that he was sounding like an idealist and the world has now come to believe ideals do not lead to an ideal society. I knew more than my words he scorns my smile. He finds my smile mocking. He hates me when I put my counter point with smile.
I added that to think for himself first is the nature of every human being and those who are denying it are hypocrites. Everyone who has amassed enough wealth is not criminal, most of them worked hard and their work paid them enough.
The country was in the most crucial stage of civil war and the warlords had fed most of their frontiers with unscrupulous ideologies. They had made them believe that utopian society was possible. They filled the brains of youth with rebellious ideas and contempt for those who were well off. They had poured hatred inside their ignorant brains. My friend was not ignorant; he was only confused and easily convincible unless the one who is convincing was not me.
He had gone to some rural areas of country and the condition of people left an impression in him that he left his government job saying he is fed up with this feudal system and will now join hands to bring down the feudal system ran by the corrupts, richs and oppressor.
I do not remember how I instigated him that he said, had it been possible he would wipe out all the rich people and distribute their wealth to the poor ones. I asked him what will that do upon which he said there will be equality. I said then why doesn’t he wipe out the poor ones instead. He said the destitute had done no wrong to which I said earning wealth is not a crime either. I added one cannot kill someone because he works hard. This was the reason behind his desperate plea in the first line.
Collectivism and common benefit are only fancy terms, I said. The developed countries are richer because they do not indulge in these silly hypothesis and ideologies, they believe in results. Communism has utterly failed and even those countries with the strong holds of communists are adopting capitalist principles. He said that was not true, communism will never fail. It was unsuccessful in some countries because the capitalists and imperialists kept strangling it. I said anything that is stronger in itself won’t fall down just because other forces stood on its way. He should admit the failure in a good spirit.
He shrugged out of irritation whatever I told him only ascertained him further that I was a implacable nerd, a hideous representative of the feudal system.

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