Office Office

When I went to office early in the morning, I saw him already positioned in his chair busy in some kind of work. Out of curiosity, didn’t you make a schedule yesterday? He nodded in affirmation. My face must have questioned him ‘then?’. After having completed a year in the department, I knew what had happened. As always they must have made schedule to stay after office or come early in the morning so that only one won’t suffer, but when time came for their turn they must have produced excuses or might have left without information. There he was doing work that was supposed to be done by another. If someone wants to witness the limit of indiscipline they should come to our department. If one wants a leave, he need not ask for that what he needs to do is come to office early in the morning do the attendance and go home. In this way you save your leave and at the same time you can do your work. If you are expected to carry out a duty you can just ignore it citing you are not the responsible because no job description is given. Luckily the boss is lenient. More than that no one is sincere and you always have cases when your boss or your colleague had broken the norm. Do you want make your superiors and boss considerate on you, then keep telling them the works you did (though in reality your colleague might have that) and do not fear to give him information on what others are doing or talking. Do not appear in office for almost a month still superiors will think you are in leave as their mathematics is slightly poor. Even if you come to office just find a place to sit with newspaper and engage yourself in gossip. Just show your face to boss and leave the office. I was thinking may be I should join some other organization in the day as after signing the attendance book, its not necessary to stay at office. Tell your father is ill and leave office anytime you want. Do you know any other office which is as lenient as ours? If you don’t want to work then this is the best office and ours is the perfect department for you. Even after taking professional trainings worth thousands of rupees you can always say I don’t know how to do it. Even if you have to work then it won’t be more than visiting other sections once a week taking few notes make entries in computer and relax for rest of the week. But you have to be careful, you must give impressions as if yours is the toughest job and keep complaining how you are doing the most difficult thing in the department. However if you still fear then again there is a cure, join a union, appear as if you are the most dedicated staff in the whole department before the boss. In every meeting your consent will be sought even though you have nothing to say. Wait !!! in meetings do not hesitate to raise issues even though they may be the silliest you can think of. Make yourself appear as if you are in great stress due to the nature of your work. Recite your woes on how you have to listen to others complain and how rudely they behave with you.
The other thing is make smallest of the work look the most complicated one, even if that can be done in not more than 30 minutes complain how mind boggling is the problem and how it might take a whole days or even a week. Always lament on the pressure of work you have but in your cabin feel free to play games. Keep telling how the works have piled up and how your peers have made it more complicated. If a problem is encountered do not look for its nature before blaming your immediate boss for everything. Criticize him and curse his incompetency before others to prove yourself the ultimate messiah. Do not forget to blab about how you accomplished something so complicated to everyone. Make yourself look as if without you the whole office will be lame. Forget sharing work, why would you share your work? If others start solving problems people will go to your colleagues and your image will be tarnished, people will stop praying you. Present yourself as the most caring person before your colleagues though you might hate him. Find what he is doing and try spoiling his work either by deleting the records he has created, or by deleting the file he has created. When someone points at you, make a conspiracy theory ready, make someone a villain who is always against you. It will work.
I am now an expert in office stuffs. I don't have much work but that is not because I have started avoiding work, there isn't any. However I leave office early at least twice a month and seek no permission if I have to leave office in the day for my personal work. I know this is something I should be ashamed of rather than flaunting it.
I have now adapted to the new culture and is spoiling myself yet have never shunned my responsibilities nor delayed any work. Even then I am a clever staff now. Earlier I was not. once when I asked my colleague whose permission should I seek if I have to leave early. He said no-one. My obvious question was ‘won’t any disciplinary action will be taken?’and the obvious reply was ‘only people who are disciplined can take disciplinary action upon others’. In my previous office there was no chance of leaving early. I said ‘The boss might reproach’ and the immediate reply was ‘the boss himself take classes in day’. I knew this was wrong, I could have bet that our boss does not take any classes in the day. I argued and after being convinced my colleague said he used to abscond earlier. Later I learnt few of my colleagues do not like the boss because they preferred the boss from their ethnic background. Though in 21st century, many of us have fostered communal ideologies. One of my colleagues is always full of praises for the head of another department. His ‘had there been P. Sir’ is a repetitive term I hate to hear.
Anyway this is our office, thus are my colleagues, seniors and so many things I have learned.