Food

These days mummy is very worried. She is worried for me. My belly troubles her more than the rising price of commodities. She complains about my belly more than she complains about the layer of dust that has carpeted my table. She yells, chides, scolds and complains. She does everything possible to make me realize that I need to loose weight. She gives so many reasons like I am unmarried and no girl likes an obese. She says I am inviting different diseases. As if I am a kid she says if you don’t care you will outfit all your clothes. She does not only complain she suggests me different things I can do to loose weight. Yoga, morning walks, diet control are the most popular ones. I don’t know if she really believes that I will do those things and always she had to say that I am the most stubborn person in earth.
I can bring to my thoughts the memories of my earlier days when large belly symbolized prosperity but now people take pity on those with large bellies. I remember after seeing large tummy of sons of laborors in our neighborhood, my mother complained to one of her friends that in spite of good food her son (that's us) were lean and thin while children who lived on meagre diet were well built. Later in college when I learnt about malnutrition I felt like laughing at my poor mummy's comment.
I know how to control weight it just a matter that I don’t practice this. I won’t say I don’t try but I always fail and I know that’s where my determination is to be blamed. Possibly I don’t see the consequences or possibly I don’t care. I have always been confused about myself. Sometime I feel that the strangest man to a man is the man himself. At least I am strange to myself.
I was a regular looking guy just few years back, those were the days when I was at college. What were the things that held me from gaining weight? Then I joined a job and went to Trishuli where I was in eating spree. I became a kind of junk food munching machine. There could have been so many reasons and the first one is that I didn’t know what to do. To worsen the situation I was stationed in a place where one could find no place where you can spend your money specially if you do not drink and you do not like sleeping around with prostitutes. I had just come out from college and I had always got meager pocket from my father. Possibly when I had money more than ten times the pocket money I used to get, I was excited. I always visited the small bazaar and whenever I went to a shop they would have my snacks and chocolates ready for me. I used to wander around the area gobbling all those stuffs. I just couldn’t resist ‘Kurkure’ I loved those spicy flavors. I used to get a family pack and as I was the only one in the family I used to munch those things before I got to my room. Wandering around that small area munching stuffs was not something the locals had regularly seen and to most of them the things I used to have in my hand was completely new. Children watched me as if I were a chimp who had escaped from the zoo. Many people knew that I was an officer in a bank. I was so unconventional. There were very few things available in that market. There were no sweets available and I am not so careless that I would just get into every next sweet shop and swallow whatever I got.
During lunch we used to have no choice. We had to choose between noodles, beaten rice with fried potatoes or some other vegetables and few items from local bakery which scared me more than anything else. I hated noodles and there was no way I will ask for bakery items ultimately I used to have carbohydrate rich beaten rice every afternoon. When I used to visit Kathmandu I will eat everything I couldn’t eat at trishuli. I relished on momo, chowmein, chats, pizzas, sweets, parathas, paneer etc. Even at home I used to get a special treatment and mummy will feed me every delicious stuff she learnt to cook. I used to carry cookies and jams to trishuli and things that were supposed to feed me for more than fifteen days used to finish in a week. There was only one comparatively better restaurant in the place and in that restaurant the only thing I loved was a specially prepared from potatoes. It used to be spicy and oily; I only loved that in the restaurant.
I didn’t like to eat in hotel so I managed to persuade a local lady to prepare food for me. They cooked for me in morning and in the evening. I went to their home both time in the day. That is again where I surprised my host. I didn’t eat the rice much but I ate all the curry made for three people. Usually people eat little vegetable but I eat vegetable and rice in equal quantity. They were shell shocked. I felt sorry, I wouldn’t have done that had I known there were more people in the house.
From the next day of the total vegetables they cooked half was meant for me and the other half the remaining family shared. Please before jumping into any conclusion believe me they were not very poor and they needn’t buy vegetables from market. They cultivated vegetables on their own and they didn’t use to sell those. I am voracious to the limit. The other thing I couldn’t resist was aerated drinks specially coke and dew. I drank almost a liter of those drink every day. I alone did not help the manufacturers any noticeable profit but its people like me who help them make profit.
Now I am at my home. My mother tries to control but how can she deny food when I ask for more. More than that she can only control me at home but I remain outside most of the day. Parathas, chowmein, momos are my regular lunch items. I do try to control diet but every time I fall victim to my taste buds. Unfortunately god forgot to make a single thing I don’t like to eat. At meal I do not want to have more and try to resist but I just can’t. When my plate is emptying I kept struggling between two parts of my brain one says get some more while the other says its enough look at your belly and most of the time the former wins. My mother wants me to avoid rice in evening meal and I have even tried but my tummy always feels empty and I struggle to sleep. I have no clue whether its only a confusion or it is the fact. Even during the evening meal, I struggle to resist more and most of the time I fail.
While returning home, i come across a food store cum coffee shop cum bakery. We get most of our things from the place. Sometime its hot and I enter into the store to get a cold drink and come out with a packet of chips or other junk food, in winter I visit it to have a cup of coffee and I ask for a doughnut or a pastry. I don’t give a single thought about my weight.
The real cause of my obesity is however something more serious. Its depression. Don’t believe me, ask anyone if depression plays a role for obesity and the reply will be yes. Depression either makes one loose weight or gain it. More than that the pill I am taking has weight gain as one of its side effects. Food is not only to be blamed.