I had a headache, probably the transition of season is to
blame. Bibesh had called me since we hadn’t seen each other for a long time. He
had also called Sukrat. When we were in college we were best of friends and we
remained so for a long time, but as we moved on with our life we had little
time for communication. We all lost that energy, had we visited ourselves
during our college years our college alter-ego would have called us boring,
lifeless losers. I didn’t want to go and I had called home informing I will be
on time. I was returning home but I didn’t realize that I had turned to the
road that would take me to our junction. I still had nausea and I knew I will
only be a listener. I was pissed off with my work, with indecision and
extravagance in my office.
When I was on my way to Chitwan I had noticed a banner which
yelled “Don’t miss it, only 8 days left.
Ensure prosperity in your life. DV lottery 2014 !!!” I had told myself this
time I won’t miss it. This would be my first time and this time I really wish I
am selected. Just a day after returning
from Chitwan, I was filling the form and I placed myself in a hoard of millions
of people with clichéd “American Dreams”.
Anyways they were already there in their usual unshaven,
loser look, we exchanged smile. A stool was empty indifferent to whoever that
would occupy it, man or a mug. They didn’t ask me to sit but I sat down. They
were talking and I joined them just like the cup of tea brought by the little
daughter of the tea stall. I wondered if the smile that I assumed was for me
when I had joined them was really for me or for somebody else. We meet and most
of our meetings are as dull as today’s. I asked the girl, I don’t need a tea.
Bibesh and Sukrat didn’t notice it, they seemed equally frustrated. They only
wanted to spit out the frustration, I would have joined them but the headache
held me back.
Bibesh: Few days back I was consoling a colleague that “probably
events, results are planned in advance, destiny really exists”. My expressions
were reaction to his frustration on the appointment of a person who we have
known as one of the biggest morally corrupt person, someone who showed no
commitment to work, someone who was a puppet. In tenure of 6 years he had come
to office in time not more than 10 days. He never stayed in office full time;
there were always meetings for him. Many days he would not come to office yet
he was always present in the attendance register; attendance register was
always on his table. His style of work opaque, his model of management laissez
faire, his ideas obsolete, his leadership non-existent and yet he sat at the
top of our heads worshipped by sycophants.
Now he has moved on to take a bigger role, to put in track the
establishment of new organization. The foundation is laid on weak grounds. For
those who know him will probably take his appointment as endorsement of a
belief – the country has lost its recognition for people with caliber. On the
other note I wonder if the current environment had clipped his wings and
perhaps he will be a different man altogether in a different setting. People
lined up in a queue to congratulate him but they all knew he had given nothing
to the organization, he had abused his authority. In our setting with bigger
position accountability becomes lesser and responsibilities drop. But then
there were good things about him, he never lost his cool, he listened to his
hardest critics with no sign of anger. Few people are courageous enough to
shake hands with you with a smile even after you have done nothing less than
spitting on his face. He showed no remorse.
In a small café I was sitting sipping a cup of tea that
smelled like potash. It has always smelled so in that café but still I go there
for the fact that it is close by. Two
people were talking how they had gone to meet Mr. Prime Minister for a favor
and how he asked them to talk with “vauju” or Sister-in-law (his wife). He said
the PM is no more a clean person; he encourages what goes behind his back. He
knows everything that is illegal, immoral and outright wrong doings his wife
carries out. Previously he ignored it now he supports it. I do not know if what
they were talking about was true but everybody talks about it in dreaded tone.
She moves people to better position
after getting some token of respect. Though there have been no words on the
token of respect that the person indicated in the previous paragraph has paid
and the chances are little but the rumors are rife that he had the blessing of
“vauju”. They say he was summoned to the
Office of PM in the morning on the day he was picked up for the coveted
position. After his appointment with his head held high he said, truth wins.
The turn of events had frustrated me, I had felt the urge to
vomit and the nausea remained for some time. After completing his tenure
“successfully” (top position holders are never unsuccessful) he will be back to
reign our organization. Rules have been bent to serve the interests of the rule
makers or if it doesn’t suit them they will change it.
Bibesh talked without break, usually opinionated Sukrat
chose to remain mum, perhaps he had a headache too. His body language was
similar to most of the people I see these days, helpless and indifferent. He
had spread himself on the chair. If somebody was looking at us from distant
they could have assumed a person was talking to two dead bodies.
I had read in a newspaper today that the Vice Chancellor of
a reputed University had resigned amid pressure from the political parties. He
had a reputation of someone who had been able to keep politics away from
university, somebody who would not give up to political pressure.
After almost 20 minutes, Bibesh thought it was now my turn.
He asked “ So, how are you, what’s going on.”
I replied “same and usual. I have a headache, I am going
home” as I got up.
My exit was as mundane to them as my entry was.
I stopped at a temple on the way and prayed, “God please get
me selected for the Green Card.”
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