Goodbye Aarushi

For almost two weeks, one news kept flashing in Indian Media that seemed to have become interest of everyone who had access to Indian media. Aarushi Talwar a fourteen years old girl was murdered in her home. The police accused the domestic help behind the murder without an investigation. Just the next day the dead body of the servant greeted the police in the roof of the house. The whole tragic incident took became a mystery and media worked really hard to make it more spicy, mysterious and suspicious. Very similar to the investigating police media came up with theories of their own and they spared no one for being suspicious. They all went on ‘me first’ spree to cover the news. Police brought in one picture after amid media frenzy and when people started raising questions on their credibility. The government handed the case from one officer to other possibly to show how dedicated it is.
The deceased’s throat was slit and she died while her parents remained peacefully asleep in the next room. That obviously brought the family itself into suspicion. Media claimed the girl to be fourteen years old but the photo they flashed initially showed as if the girl was not more than ten years of age. Just a day later new pictures of her was shown in tv. That was a picture of a seemingly silent yet a lively girl. I believe there are more mysterious murder cases in India alone but the marquee kept repeating the biggest murder mystery of the year. Media is so powerful that it can set priority of any issues. While people are dying out of hunger in Africa, Bush’s daughter wedding was shown with greater priority. We do not care what is going on in next room but we search for information what did Paris Hilton do this weekend. I don’t know what brings in this celebrity cult but I can guess people love to see the things people got which they didn’t, they want to know how people act with things and name which they aspired for.
I sat back watching the news and feeling pity for the girl who had only seen fourteen years of life and must have had so many thoughts about her future. I believe this is the age when people dream the most, they are most confused, they are more excited and they have more plans. They do so many things to seek enjoyment which at age like ours we don’t. I felt sorry for her. After days long interrogation, police arrested the father and came out with quite a derogatory theory against the girl. They said the girl had ‘objectionable’ relationship with the servant. I have read ‘Lolita’, have heard about girls falling in for people much older than them but I couldn’t just believe it for the girl. Now I am playing media but I have no reach and power to influence over a mass. My intuition told me this cannot be true. A lively looking girl with reach to every thing she wanted falling in physically for a man at forty five who looked as if he were sixty five was something I haven’t been able to digest. Even if the police had any clue or proof I think they should have taken that to court not to public. I felt more pity for the girl and I felt her so close as if I knew her. I knew her as if I had talked to her, known her piousness, known her juibilant attitude, as if she had told me in my dreams that the police was lying. I did not also want to believe that the father was behind the murder. I have no reasons to justify this but I am not sure about the father. When the mother came out before media saying she had full faith in her husband, I watched her eyes, they looked tired and hopeless. Any other mother would have cried when they would be talking about their only child who was murdered just ten days ago. Is she so strong? My mother shuns food and she looses the brightness of her face when I have headache and how can any other mother be like the woman who was giving an interview in a news channel. God let Aarushi’s soul rest in peace. I was more confused than the confusion media wanted to create. It had become more mysterious to me than the mystery media wanted it to be. I loved the name of Aarushi’s group, they said the group was called ‘Awesome four’, I just felt the four members must have been very energetic. News channel kept showing the family picnic’s video clip. It showed how happy and content the family of three must have been and the father seemed equally jolly. He was doing some kind of funny act that was not the father who can kill his only daughter but who knows.
After returning from office last Thursday, I sat before the tv where they kept repeating “murder case solved, father behind the murder.” A news channel tried to boast how they had predicted the whole thing and very next day they pointed the flaws in police investigation. They had become more sympathetic to the family and more hostile towards the police. When referring to the accused father they had used the term murderer father and next day they replaced the term ‘murderer’ with ‘prime accused’. May be they had measured the nerves of public sentiment. They only needed sensations and there it was and they brought it with spices. A family was devastated and young eyes had closed never to open to see this world, the lips were shut never to open to smile, a life had left leaving a vacancy in life of many never to be filled and it was just a business to media.
Yes, the day when they claimed that the case was solved, I was shaken. I had a vigil over the issue since it came to the media i.e. from very next day of the murder and I had felt really bad for the girl. I felt sorry for the deceased girl when they blotted her character. I prayed it from the bottom of my heart for peace to her soul. Goodbye Aarushi!!!!

Travelling

Third day in a row there is no office and I am sitting at home with nothing to do. Somehow yesterday and day before yesterday passed away. Actually these three days were meant for celebration for bringing in republican system in the country. Many people were enthusiastic enough to yell and shout slogans in the already hot street. The news channel kept showing the crowd shouting before the palace, asking to place the national flag in the palace. It took the whole day to put the flag and the whole country went to sleep except for some press-men expecting the night will have something for their camera.
I as usual I sat before the TV not to watch anything specific but just changing channel. In between I came across a movie where the actress misses her train and while she wanders around the small market place awed by the fact that she actually is visiting a place she had only seen through the windows of the running train. It was a small clip but enough to bring me pictures from my childhood when we used to visit our ancestral home during festival (Dashain). It looks as if ages have passed since I have had a long journey. It must have been more than ten years since I travelled in a night bus. More than visiting the place and seeing my uncles, aunts and grandparents I was always enthused about the travel. The hubbub in the bus station, people rushing from one bus to another looking for their loved ones, friends and relatives, they always excited me. Much earlier when the bus park was at Ratnapark and night buses passed through Tundikhel, I used to feel vacant and sad. I used to think as if I am leaving most precious things behind and will never see them again. Even to this day, I get this feeling if I leave home for even few days.
When the bus moved along the winding road hiding behind one hill and emerging at other, I used to feel a strange kind of pleasure. The red sun hiding behind the far mountain, the slowly extinguishing light of the day and the dimming earth, aroused so many thoughts in my rather immature mind. I cannot recollect what I used to think but I know I loved watching through the small windows while most of the people would be busy chatting among each other as if they never chatted at their homes and the bus was the idealistic place for them to talk about their life, failures and successes etc. It was strange for me to find that same journey that triggered so many thoughts inside me was of no interest to my fellow companions. May be as grown ups they have had so many other things to think about. During dashain frequently our bus paved its way through small hamlets and the kids would be enjoying the swing their parents or the community would have set up for them. To see a swing moving from one end to other, reaching high at ends and almost touching the ground in the middle gave me goose bumps. I always believed the sight was symbolic as if someone wanted to show me something but I could never find what it was. I was never fond of swings in fact I feared it but to see somebody else rising high and low was always a pleasant sight. The move just above the mighty Narayani River was like a challenge one would love to take. The green river competed with the bus as if the winner will get a medal if reached the destination before others. I wanted to win. Without any specific reason I would think ‘our bus’. ‘We’ should win the race. Why did ‘we’ took over ‘I’, I don’t know? I never liked the hills much. I loved the houses, I loved the tiny rural kids watching us with a mocking look as if they wanted to know where were we going and when will we place there. May be their eyes bullied us that there home was just few yards away while we have hundreds of mile to go. Though electricity has enlightened those small huts today, those days small lantern greeted us. One would mistake the lantern for a firefly which has stopped for a while out of confusion over the direction. Those lanterns were overpowered with the darkness of night. They looked so inept that they couldn’t even light a single room. Because of no light people ate early and so went to bed early. Even in our ancestral home there was no electricity and by 7:00 PM we would all be asleep.
Slowly nothing would be visible; the only thing one would hear would be the monotonous sound of the bus and sometime the roaring of the river. If one was to look ahead he/she would see the part of the road which the helpless headlight was capable of lighting. Inside the bus, slowly the people would have fallen asleep. Kids cuddled in the arm of their parents and young couples cuddled with each other. My excitement would not have settled, I watched shadow. Very soon we will be at Munglin where buses would stop for evening meal. Because we never used to eat outside our home to have meal at Munglin was part of the fun. But I always feared if we would miss the bus. I loved moving past Munglin through the thick jugles and wide road. I always expected in no time some wild animal will stand before us. I loved walking past everything, everyone never knowing whether we were moving or the world was moving against us but for sure Narayani River was there still in competition. Then Hetauda would come where the buses would stop for a while. Usually it would be midnight. From Muglin till Hetauda one would have to walk in the darkness all along and when one would get to a small station at Hetauda, people seemed active asking people for tea, cold drinks. May be they are the fireflies in the human form. Like in our textbook’s story where the character would finally land up in an inhabited land after a lengthy tour across the dry Sahara desert. Slowly the deep asleep people would come to life and there would be murmurs and temporary talks. Soon we will be in the expanse Terai. It wondered me that even in this mid night few houses would be lit. I wondered what would be the people doing at this odd hour. I liked terai, it looked at me so powerful and mighty. Slowly the earth would rise from its bed and the sun must be readying itself to greet the earth. The light is so precious at dawn rather than in the day possibly its less in amount and soothing in nature. The morning would come just like the way the day had faded away yesterday. Slowly birds would be seen sitting in the electric wire that ran from one pole to next. To see a waking day is such a pleasant experience. Soon the people quietly asleep in the bus would rise would up with murmuring break. Soon the ‘chaiwalas’ would knock all the windows asking the passenger if they want tea. Very soon the others will follow with coconuts, nuts etc. I loved to get down at every place the bus would stop and knowing its place. It used to feel good when friends at school, used to ask about the places I have visited and I would say Dhading, Munglin, Narayanghat, Hetauda, Pathlaiya, Lahan, Janakpur, Inaruwa etc. just because we walked past those areas on my way to our ancestral home in Jhapa. In between I wondered how those places would look if I had to actually visit those places in the day. It would be a fun if I were to visit those places just the way the actress of the movie did.

Fine

I have been very passive lately specially the last month. Apart from busy office, I did nothing that made me feel good or nothing creative. Though I am not much clear about what creativity is, I don’t know if its just pristine piece of work, or something that effects not only the creator but others as well. There were so many deadlines to be met last week that required my neck-deep involvement in office choirs. There were many meetings, presentations, participations and visits. There were new ideas coming in, new requirements coming in and they barred my brain from thinking anything else. I won’t however say there were no moments that provoked my thought, that made me feel I was before my computer, in my secluded room to knit words for my feelings. Luckily health hasn’t been quite a problem but I never know if next moment will have surprises for me.
A cunning loneliness is there and I can guess this can be requirement of new friend in life, but somewhere something is not prepared. Confusion is still there that my health has created. I hadn’t have bad health but this doesn’t mean I have been in hundred percent. Its just fine. This word ‘fine’ has become so meaningful to me and I want to replace it with ‘great’. I hadn’t realized this but once while on phone a friend of mine asked about me and I said I’m fine. It used it just because it came to me and this is the word we get to hear when we inquire about somebody. How are you? Most likely the answer would be ‘fine’. This is not a deliberate attempt just a casual term. But many times I have felt so irritated after using this term ‘fine’ and have given a sly smile over the helplessness with no one around to reach. That particular day, the term fine had become so meaningful and I know its meaning.
I wish I had some other reasons to remain single but I hate to have the reason that I have. In these ‘fine’ days hopes smile at me. The expression of the smile is so hazy that I cannot ascertain if its genuine or its deceitful. These ‘fine’ days has been frequent visitors but not a permanent resident. These ‘fine’ days have come and they have left me and revisited me.
I haven’t read a book for quite a time and in fact left a book in middle to start a new one which again I have not been able to proceed after around nine days. Its surprises me on myself. Once started I have never left any book incomplete and there are two. Once reason could be the fact that I am reading them on computer but I have read many books in computer so they should not have been a big deal. I had started ‘Satanic Verses’ by Salman Rushdie but left it in the middle. To be true I had picked this book because of the hype and controversy that surrounds it. After reading more than 100 pages I found nothing much interesting and controversial. Another book pulled me with its title ‘Love in the time of cholera’. So far it was a nice book but I haven’t read it for almost fifteen days. I am not proud of it and I know I will finish these books.
With this paragraph my position has also changed, earlier I had this laptop on my lap now I am lying on my protruding belly to jot few words and by the time I finish this sentence I might resettle myself. There’s been no new things except that I am regularly reading blogs of India’s one of the biggest actor Mr. Amitabh Bacchhan. I read all his entries religiously and if time allows or if I am not bored do peep many comments posted by the visitors. It however does not mean I am a fan of his, I have always liked the way he spoke and gave his speech. When I found his blog site I read one and I just liked the way he writes. Underneath my attempt could be to understand a celebrity larger than life. Someone who people have idolized.
I don’t know during which line in the above paragraph I placed myself on the floor of my room. A monotonous sound of motor is coming from the neighborhood along with the sound of scrubbing clothes. The day started with a heavy rain and I hope it quenched the thirst of the trees, shrubs and plants in this departing spring. The rain hinted to the cooler day, alas it was hot. The sun spared us soon and it developed into an easier day.
I had visited my room earlier in the day to sit before this machine to weave few words but in vain. The second attempt was almost unintentional. I had come to my room to take a nap but I just started my laptop and soon I had completed a paragraph. We were invited to a breakfast by my father’s uncle and aunt and I was there at 10:15 and I realized I effortlessly got myself into the social tête-à-tête. It was ‘fine’ this day as well. Thanks god.