My sleep broke a little early in fact lot early than it should have. Under the light of the full moon, in the earth that glowed like silver, the silhouette of the huge mountains watched me as I turned one side to another. Sleep had evaded me, yet I was under the delusion of sleep. When I had opened my eyes I took the beam of moonlight to be the soft light of the dawn. There was an instant freshness in my body, my hands went out for watch that I had got rid of last night, it said 12:30. The sight of the watch washed away all the freshness. I woke up to see the mountains, to ensure I was not dreaming. I could see the shape of the mountains that lifted the sky. May be it had been a long time since I took a vacation and in this auspicious land I had truly became a child. I had behaved like a child who wakes up in the middle of the night just to check if the gift he received last evening was still there in the room. I returned to my bed but neither did I feel asleep nor I was fully awake. My consciousness and my sleep fought each other, unfortunately neither won. The day was destined to be gloomy as I was destined to feel low the other day.
I must have been awake lot earlier but I picked the book with which I had slept. Hearing the honks and the voices of people, I yet again looked at the watch which said 7:30. I hurried for the morning choirs. The mountains waited me and in the morning sun they smiled. Yet another morning in Pokhara. The shape of tiger not as distinct as it had been the other day. The snow was lesser and only stiff rock lay on the foundation of earth. I wondered if the light of moon had melted them, they are always eager to run to the womb of the earth into the mighty lake of Phewa, Begnas and Rupa. Yesterday I had imagined them to have blushed and today they had melted out of shyness. I wanted to run to the Phewa lake to see if its level had risen up to see the city of Pokhara, like a little girl standing on her toe to witness noise beyond the wall taller than herself. I knew my comparison was a mistake, how can a lake as big as this be compared with a small child. My host, the branch Manager of my office at Pokhara had told us that we were visiting the temple of Bindabasini, a Goddess. After a cup of tea he asked me if I was ready and there I was standing at the other side of the main entrance into the office building while my host swerved the car. A ant hurried as the car rolled but before it could reach to safety, the wheel of car stole its breath. I didn’t see it die, neither did I see its body which might have stuck to the tire yet I could say for certain it was dead, no more in this earth, I don’t know where. I have heard and even read, soul the energy, the real life in our body is same for man and an ant but the size does matter. I saw that particular ant loosing its life but how many ants might have come under my very own feet and tasted death. Larger the corpse, larger will be the guilt of killing it. I didn’t feel sorry for the ant but believe me I would have been glad had it been able to come to safety. I couldn’t stop the car for an ant, its importance to me depended on its size. I do not feel proud for it, but a tint of shame shows in me. Very next moment the ant is forgotten and I start humming with the music that is being played. I watch the Phewa lake, its level has not risen, but where did the melted snow go. Did it vapourize? I looked into the sky, it didn’t appear nearer than yesterday. On my way to the temple I don’t know how many ants got crushed. If all those lives I had taken rose up with the body with size of even a cat, I would get insane with the sins I have committed, the brutal murder I had committed.
The sun was gloomy today and in the gloomy sun, the tiger didn’t appear clear only lifeless stiff rock remained. A ring of cloud rested on it like a neckerchief. Later when more lumps of cloud approached the tiger, its tip seemed to penetrate the entire sky and soon something will be dripping. I thought may be it wanted to see if there were rain inside the clouds. If it rains in city it will snow in the mountain. It feels sorry for itself for not being able to hold its snow but it expects snow fall pretty soon. The tiger might go into a sleep under the snow till April. Neither its face nor its stripe will be seen.
I must have been awake lot earlier but I picked the book with which I had slept. Hearing the honks and the voices of people, I yet again looked at the watch which said 7:30. I hurried for the morning choirs. The mountains waited me and in the morning sun they smiled. Yet another morning in Pokhara. The shape of tiger not as distinct as it had been the other day. The snow was lesser and only stiff rock lay on the foundation of earth. I wondered if the light of moon had melted them, they are always eager to run to the womb of the earth into the mighty lake of Phewa, Begnas and Rupa. Yesterday I had imagined them to have blushed and today they had melted out of shyness. I wanted to run to the Phewa lake to see if its level had risen up to see the city of Pokhara, like a little girl standing on her toe to witness noise beyond the wall taller than herself. I knew my comparison was a mistake, how can a lake as big as this be compared with a small child. My host, the branch Manager of my office at Pokhara had told us that we were visiting the temple of Bindabasini, a Goddess. After a cup of tea he asked me if I was ready and there I was standing at the other side of the main entrance into the office building while my host swerved the car. A ant hurried as the car rolled but before it could reach to safety, the wheel of car stole its breath. I didn’t see it die, neither did I see its body which might have stuck to the tire yet I could say for certain it was dead, no more in this earth, I don’t know where. I have heard and even read, soul the energy, the real life in our body is same for man and an ant but the size does matter. I saw that particular ant loosing its life but how many ants might have come under my very own feet and tasted death. Larger the corpse, larger will be the guilt of killing it. I didn’t feel sorry for the ant but believe me I would have been glad had it been able to come to safety. I couldn’t stop the car for an ant, its importance to me depended on its size. I do not feel proud for it, but a tint of shame shows in me. Very next moment the ant is forgotten and I start humming with the music that is being played. I watch the Phewa lake, its level has not risen, but where did the melted snow go. Did it vapourize? I looked into the sky, it didn’t appear nearer than yesterday. On my way to the temple I don’t know how many ants got crushed. If all those lives I had taken rose up with the body with size of even a cat, I would get insane with the sins I have committed, the brutal murder I had committed.
The sun was gloomy today and in the gloomy sun, the tiger didn’t appear clear only lifeless stiff rock remained. A ring of cloud rested on it like a neckerchief. Later when more lumps of cloud approached the tiger, its tip seemed to penetrate the entire sky and soon something will be dripping. I thought may be it wanted to see if there were rain inside the clouds. If it rains in city it will snow in the mountain. It feels sorry for itself for not being able to hold its snow but it expects snow fall pretty soon. The tiger might go into a sleep under the snow till April. Neither its face nor its stripe will be seen.
1 comment:
"Larger the corpse, larger will be the guilt of killing it."
Nice piece of writing as ever.
I am not a vegetarian,so I don't know how many goats and chicken had been killed for the sake of my desire for meat.Though I don't feel sorry for them coz I love to eat meat.I feel that I am maintaining the food chain.
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