I cannot say for certain what made him attached to me but one incident is still fresh in my mind. It was a Saturday and I was at home with kids. I being fond of them and many times part of their play, they don’t fear me and play mischief on me. I think its their time for mischief as a part of healthy childhood. I was trying to concentrate on my work but their mischief was getting more and more disturbing. I came up to my room but they won’t lower the volume of the TV. I got into the room fired, snatched the remote from their hand and hid it somewhere in the drawer. I came up for my work but he came up giggling and dancing around me with remote in his hand. I lost my temper and slapped him hard twice and asked him to leave my room. He left. May be before he could get into his room, I realized my mistake. I felt terrible, I had never raised hand on him and I should not have raised hand. I immediately went to his room. He had locked himself inside the room. I knocked and he deliberately let me come in. I knew he was angry but he was not crying. I moved my hand in his hair and asked if it pained. Then came the streams of tears. My heart split apart. I tried to soothe him, saying one is not expected to tease elder people, and there should always be boundary and sometime even the elder people make mistakes. He won’t move just look at the floor and the streams had dried into drops. I knew I had done a terrible mistake but I was more worried how would he interpret my hitting him. I didn’t want him to interpret it as hatred and I hit him because his parents are cannot afford to keep him at home and he is staying with his uncle and cousins. I told him I lost my temper and that was very bad of me. I told him I had not slapped him because I disliked or abhorred him. I begged sorry. I caught my ears and asked him sometime even elders do mistakes and it’s a good chance for youngers to act elder and forgive them. He listened to every thing. He was sobbing, I cursed myself, hated myself. I asked him to join me while I watch TV, he didn’t. He however laid in the bed with his face buried in the pillow, the pillow was getting wet. He would not give in, he has always been stubborn. I gave up and left the room with a knot in my heart. I knew I had choked while I was talking to him.
No one could sooth him, mummy tried, buwa tried, my grandmother tired but to no avail. I tried almost four times and so did my mother. They yelled at him, tried to drag him to kitchen for food but everyone of us failed. It was already 4 P.M. and he would not give in. Though I was feeling bad for the whole thing in the morning, I was also getting pissed off now. How can be a child be so stubborn? If nothing could persuade him at least hunger should have but no. It was more than 5 P.M. and I went in to his room. I asked him ‘don’t you feel hungry?’ and what the hatred for food is for? I have asked sorry and will never do that mistake and can’t you once forgive your brother. He looked at me. I knew he had submitted, I pulled his arm and he easily got up and followed me to room. I warmed the food and served him. I saw a child who could eat almost four times than myself.
Probably my begging him sorry and catching ears, gave some impression about me to him. I have realized from then he has been lot fond of me than he has ever been and even I learned something more about him. In the days that followed, he would obey whatever I tell him as him he has believed from heart that I don’t mean bad for him and whatever I say will always do him good. There are tiny things that other failed him to do which I made him do easily. For e.g. his brushing style everyone commented the way he brush would not clean his teeth properly but he would not listen. One morning I told him how should he brush and the other morning I saw his teeth brighter. When I asked him, he told me he brushed his teeth the way I told him. He eats food differently, the style would be rather difficult for us. Due to his way of eating he ate very slowly. My father always poked him for eating properly but he would not. Once while dining together, I told him how should he eat and what is wrong in his way of eating. Next morning he finished the meal earlier than all of us. He is reluctant to take bath whenever anybody asks him to do but when I ask him he is clean in next half an hour.
Well I think I have forgotten to introduce him, he is my twelve years old cousin Asmit. I doubt he is dyslexic (after watching the movie ‘Taare Zameen Par’ I read few articles on dyslexia in web and his traits are similar to those described in the articles). He fears to tell the truth even when he is not the culprit but a victim. He has set it in his mind that he will never be heard. I started taking his side sometimes even knowing he has done the mistake. I bought him clothes and bags without his asking me. While going out for bag, I realized he believes that he can make no choice so he is not supposed to make any choice. I asked him to pick the bag he likes. He just looked at me and I asked him that its his books, his bag and he should choose them. He choose a army colored bag. I bought him a half-pant. Till date I had never seen him showing his new things whenever someone brings them to him but that day he brought those things before my father and showed them to him. I knew this month will be tough on me as I have spent lot of money.
Unfortunately his parents are lazy and though they have enough land to earn well they don’t work much and are thus poor. My other uncle had brought him from Jhapa to educate here in Kathmandu but my auntie never liked him. He managed to stay with them for a year but now my auntie would send him back. My father and uncle talked on the issue and my father asked a ‘baba’ from an ashram if he could adjust him there. Since we have been giving him some money every month and sometime even organizing feast for the children he easily agreed.
The ashram is fifteen minutes away from our home and it houses orphans, children whose parents cannot afford education etc. These days even the parents in the neighborhood has started admitting their children in the day shift as the education is good. I took him to show the school and he was convinced to stay there. I wanted to have him at home once in fifteen days or once in a month but the ‘baba’ told it is not possible to have him so frequently. He said we can have him once in two month but can meet him once in fifteen days. I wish we could keep it at home but we could not afford and more than that he might get spoiled at home.
I was at office when he called me ‘dada ma ta jana lageko’ (Brother I am going to hostel). I didn’t know what that sentence did to me but I was heart wrenched. I was so helpless. I felt so bad after all its school and there won’t be any special treatment. More than that he is introvert and takes time to open up. I asked him not to do mischief and never to admit the mistakes that he has not done and make good friends. He has assured me he would remember everything I have told him. I hope a bright future awaits him. God bless him.
One song kept playing in my ears from the film ‘Taare Jameen Par’.
“Bhej na itna durr mujhko tuGhar laut ke bhi aa na paun maaaKya itna bura hoon mein maa”
i.e.
don’t send me so far away
that I can’t even return home my mother
am I so bad mummy
No one could sooth him, mummy tried, buwa tried, my grandmother tired but to no avail. I tried almost four times and so did my mother. They yelled at him, tried to drag him to kitchen for food but everyone of us failed. It was already 4 P.M. and he would not give in. Though I was feeling bad for the whole thing in the morning, I was also getting pissed off now. How can be a child be so stubborn? If nothing could persuade him at least hunger should have but no. It was more than 5 P.M. and I went in to his room. I asked him ‘don’t you feel hungry?’ and what the hatred for food is for? I have asked sorry and will never do that mistake and can’t you once forgive your brother. He looked at me. I knew he had submitted, I pulled his arm and he easily got up and followed me to room. I warmed the food and served him. I saw a child who could eat almost four times than myself.
Probably my begging him sorry and catching ears, gave some impression about me to him. I have realized from then he has been lot fond of me than he has ever been and even I learned something more about him. In the days that followed, he would obey whatever I tell him as him he has believed from heart that I don’t mean bad for him and whatever I say will always do him good. There are tiny things that other failed him to do which I made him do easily. For e.g. his brushing style everyone commented the way he brush would not clean his teeth properly but he would not listen. One morning I told him how should he brush and the other morning I saw his teeth brighter. When I asked him, he told me he brushed his teeth the way I told him. He eats food differently, the style would be rather difficult for us. Due to his way of eating he ate very slowly. My father always poked him for eating properly but he would not. Once while dining together, I told him how should he eat and what is wrong in his way of eating. Next morning he finished the meal earlier than all of us. He is reluctant to take bath whenever anybody asks him to do but when I ask him he is clean in next half an hour.
Well I think I have forgotten to introduce him, he is my twelve years old cousin Asmit. I doubt he is dyslexic (after watching the movie ‘Taare Zameen Par’ I read few articles on dyslexia in web and his traits are similar to those described in the articles). He fears to tell the truth even when he is not the culprit but a victim. He has set it in his mind that he will never be heard. I started taking his side sometimes even knowing he has done the mistake. I bought him clothes and bags without his asking me. While going out for bag, I realized he believes that he can make no choice so he is not supposed to make any choice. I asked him to pick the bag he likes. He just looked at me and I asked him that its his books, his bag and he should choose them. He choose a army colored bag. I bought him a half-pant. Till date I had never seen him showing his new things whenever someone brings them to him but that day he brought those things before my father and showed them to him. I knew this month will be tough on me as I have spent lot of money.
Unfortunately his parents are lazy and though they have enough land to earn well they don’t work much and are thus poor. My other uncle had brought him from Jhapa to educate here in Kathmandu but my auntie never liked him. He managed to stay with them for a year but now my auntie would send him back. My father and uncle talked on the issue and my father asked a ‘baba’ from an ashram if he could adjust him there. Since we have been giving him some money every month and sometime even organizing feast for the children he easily agreed.
The ashram is fifteen minutes away from our home and it houses orphans, children whose parents cannot afford education etc. These days even the parents in the neighborhood has started admitting their children in the day shift as the education is good. I took him to show the school and he was convinced to stay there. I wanted to have him at home once in fifteen days or once in a month but the ‘baba’ told it is not possible to have him so frequently. He said we can have him once in two month but can meet him once in fifteen days. I wish we could keep it at home but we could not afford and more than that he might get spoiled at home.
I was at office when he called me ‘dada ma ta jana lageko’ (Brother I am going to hostel). I didn’t know what that sentence did to me but I was heart wrenched. I was so helpless. I felt so bad after all its school and there won’t be any special treatment. More than that he is introvert and takes time to open up. I asked him not to do mischief and never to admit the mistakes that he has not done and make good friends. He has assured me he would remember everything I have told him. I hope a bright future awaits him. God bless him.
One song kept playing in my ears from the film ‘Taare Jameen Par’.
“Bhej na itna durr mujhko tuGhar laut ke bhi aa na paun maaaKya itna bura hoon mein maa”
i.e.
don’t send me so far away
that I can’t even return home my mother
am I so bad mummy
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